too much free time?

i have found myself being stretched lately for time, but my parents have seen it to be that I have too much free time. This is absolutely astounding, but it ended up in me applying to mcdonalds sometime this weekend. prayer?

how in the world?

I really am struggling on the thought of having to wait 3 years until we can be together. We probably have to date that long or be, as some people so patronizingly put it, "good friends", just for some people to take us seriously anyways. I just feel like I'm swimming against the current on this one. I know that I grow from being with her and I like to think that she has grown too, and if that is the case and it doesn't hurt anything then I don't think God has a problem with it either. He wants us to be happy right? And one of my lifelong friends is now dating so I can understand why he wouldn't have as much time to be with me and even my mom says that since I was a little kid I've always wanted a companion to be with. But i just feel like it's never gonna happen. Like Katelyn and Brooks, Anna and Josh, Kat and Ed. Why can't I just have 2 or 3 more years under my belt. I am just very weary right now and completely unhopeful in this aspect. And those of you who ever actually read this and don't take us seriously or don't believe we should be thinking of marriage this early, or have negative opinions of what you jus read: I would appreciate you not commenting on this because it was mostly for my own benefit of venting.

thanks for reading,

jordan

discipleship

i absolutely love my new discipleship class. really good stuff. i have another blog on this same account with a lot of stuff that i have learned from it. really advise reading some of mine and some others that are taking the class. like luke, charity, daniel, or jake.



god bless,
jordan

Weak equals good? sometimes; no times. New York Times.

2 Corinthians 12:8

Paul is begging God to take away his weakness that he has. He feels he could be much more beneficial to the kingdom of God if only he could have that weakness removed. God's response is astounding. It isn't anything like I'd expect like,"Because you have asked for this to be removed, so it will be done." God doesn't always work like I think or want him to. In fact, the more I get to know him, the more I realize how wrong I often am. He responds with this:

"my grace is all you need. my power works best in weakness."

I think a bit of this might be pointing out and revealing that Paul has the possiblity of being prideful. God is sort of like, "look Paul, it would be nice for me to remove this for you, but if I do then you will end up getting prideful because you have no weaknesses. you could end up thinking you are good enough without any of my help in the journey i have laid out for you. but the reality is, you do need me. i think this weakness may be somewhat of a humbler for you to remind you who's really in charge."


Wow.
How prideful am i?
the extremes i go to; just to prove i'm right; are astronomical. but is it worth it? is being right worth a relationship? not a well-developed one, but one that could matter to me later down the road. come to think of it, any relationship could come to benefit me (or not benefit me) down the road. wouldn't it be worth it just to accept that i am right in my own head and be the bigger person? oh man i wish i could have reflected on this thought before-hand.

"God. Jesus. help me."

And then Jesus says something like, "remember son. I died on a cross; was spat on by people who couldn't be more wrong, couldn't say or do anything to prove them wrong because that would set the wrong example, endure physical as well as emotional pain greater than anyone has ever experienced, all to save the very same people that were putting me through this; and at the same time- Love them deeply."

I am a bit jealous of Jesus' will-power and love here. I want to be like this when I grow up.


Please allow me to be inspired by your greatness. I want to help. I must become a servant. Yes, a servant to all who I come in contact with.





.Humility.

Tests=good? [yes, good indeed]

I'm finding how great it feels to have accomplished something, passed a test, received vision, start my foot on a good path. Now that I got past this I feel strong. Like I can measure my strength by what I can handle and I am at least as strong as what I felt was one of my biggest struggles at the time. And as a side-note I started getting better grades. I got a 90/90 on my spanish test and at least a 92% if not a 96% on my math test. God is good. God is great.


Sincerely,

Haven't written in ages.

thoughts and things; thrifty throwing thieves

So lately I've been thinking about a lot of concepts that god has floating around in my head.
Like for one, I think God, or maybe just me; is a little upset at the little things that divide us as a body of christ. The christian faith is desperately in need of unity. Why should non-believers take us seriously as another way of living life, if we can't even follow what we believe and stress so fervently. We are to follow after Christ and what he did. Some of the little things that divide us are so miniscule that it makes me wonder whether or not athiests and other groups just sort of laugh at us and call us hypocrites. I feel a bit like a hypocrite when we can't even get along; neigh, sometimes get in spirited debates (lets not call them fights) over some really; well for lack of better word; stupid things.


Also, I've been thinking about what it really means to follow Christ; and not our heart. Too many times we think that what we feel is what is right. Oh man is that so wrong. My heart is off on so many things I kind of just want to tell it to shut up sometimes. God needs to be in control so we can change our state of heart. So many times we honestly and truly believe that what we are doing is of God, when we are really just rolling around in a pit of mud that is our sin. We really need to take daily time to question what we do and our reasoning behind it. Like deeply considering what we do when no one is looking (God always is-which can be kinda creepy to think about to peole new in their faith, but is usually the exact thought we need to help us get out of what we're in).


now for some time with God.


peace.
jordan.

for those who speak one language:

sorry for the spanish. i was feeling spanish-e. anyways i'm feeling really pumped about some of the stuff god is working out for me. my fine arts sermon is progressing steadily ( i like to think so) and it is about ... well the theme overall is "Extraordinary"

and so i got to thinkin' (sorry charity for thinkin', but i had to do it)

all the people god put in the bible were extraordinary right? granted some of them were extraordinarily bad, but most of the main characters in the bible were extraordinary. when i think about that, i also think

"would my life be worth putting in the bible?"
and if so, for an example of how to be or how not to be?

all of us are called to be these extraodinary people who move mountains and who God is so proud of that he would put us in a book for millions, sorry trillions to read. but so many times we fall short of this. a big issue with this is that we are scared of how great we are to be, so with fear comes low expectations, because at least with low expectations we can expect our low results, and for some reason our thought process legitimizes us doing poorly because we expected to. we are called to do greater things than our christ jesus did on earth. that is not something to be taken lightly. that is an incredible thought. and scary.

but what we need to get from this is work. a wise man once said, "the only way you get anywhere in life is work". I believe that to be partially true. now we could wallow in our ocean of self pity claiming we will never be good enough, smart enough, big enough to fill god's shoes; or we can put on some gloves and start the work before we complain about it's severity.



[short synopsis of sermon]

[please speak your mind]